Alliedassault - 5 word story

Peace: The final frontier. After years of fighting over critical oil supplies, the United States of Canada has finally distruped oil carriers, the main threat of the world.
"Wait!" Major Grillo said as he rushed after the speeding aircraft, slowly lifting up into the air. "Damn" Grillo cursed, as he snapped his fingers, and flung his arm towards the ground. "Get away from yah again, did he?" the lone mechanic, sitting on a wheel tire drenched in dried oil said. "Yeah, I'm the gunner."
"Morons! They cant leave without their gunner!" the mechanic replied, shock in his comment.
"Yeah, well it happens"
Grillo took a seat by the mechanic, staring off down the dusty run-way, covered with the red sand aged from years ago.
"Whens this damn war gonna end?" the mechanic said, to break the silence.
"Soon as we kill 'em all"
"Well, if theres an easy way, we might as well take it"
Grillo, confused at the mechanics comment, sat up, stretched his legs, and said to the mechanic "Gonna go get some coffee"
"Yeah, bring me a cup, will yah?"
"Um...sure." Grillo replied, mad at the bearing he had on his back.
He stepped into the office. General Allahallahhaustafaush sat there, thumbing one of his biggest medals, which resembled a left nut sack.
"Just getting coffee.." Grillo muttered.
Allahallahhaustafaush replied "My pilots say you're a terrible gunner"
Grillo reddened, and did not reply. He had never once gunned down the enemy, and many of the pilots considered him to be a bad luck charm.
"Well, I try my best"
"Come here" the General spoke
"Yes..sir?" Grillo said, wondering what the next words out of the Generals mouth were going to be.
"Unzip your pants"
"Wha...what?"
"Unzip 'em. Im going to do an inspection"
"Thats..what're you thinkign"
"UNZIP THEM!"
Grillo, in fright, unzipped his pants, and