what gets bigger as it engorges with blood.





a desk

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle?

A dead poodle with an 19 inch asshole.

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

[img]http://www.fathippo.net/images/apoc/Plane.jpg[/img]
ripper

?

ZING

[quote="Apocalypse | NoW":2467c]A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."[/quote:2467c]


i like it rock: rock: rock: rock:

NEWS JUST IN: Toilet seats stolen in Scotland Yard break in;
...so far, police have nothing to go on... loney:

bwahahahaha!!!!...

whats withbyur sig geRARD? what is it?

once upon a time I was going was going to tell a joke then i forgot it dance:

[quote="Apocalypse | NoW":1da59]A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."[/quote:1da59]haha, that's a good one.

[quote="Garry Coleman":46842][quote="Apocalypse | NoW":46842]A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."[/quote:46842]haha, that's a good one.[/quote:46842]

LMAO

A cabbie has taken this woman right across town and when she gets to
where she wants to go she says "I don't have any cash...but maybe I can
pay you with this?". The cabbie looks back to see she has her legs spread
and no panties on...and replies " You wouldn't have anything smaller would you?".

dance:

[img]http://www.teamaftermath.com/phpBB2/images/smiles/111_finger.gif[/img]

maybe im the only one who doesnt think jokes are funny...setup humour rolleyes:

[quote="Old Reliable":b5e0d]maybe im the only one who doesnt think jokes are funny...setup humour rolleyes:[/quote:b5e0d]
excuse me but this is the JOKE THREAD, you'll find the tedious wanker thread 2 doors down... rolleyes:

nag:

Pyros face.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!

[quote="Eight Ace":e254a][quote="Old Reliable":e254a]maybe im the only one who doesnt think jokes are funny...setup humour rolleyes:[/quote:e254a]
excuse me but this is the JOKE THREAD, you'll find the tedious wanker thread 2 doors down... rolleyes:[/quote:e254a]

yeah, you're the joke offtopic:

[quote="Old Reliable":90f73][quote="Eight Ace":90f73][quote="Old Reliable":90f73]maybe im the only one who doesnt think jokes are funny...setup humour rolleyes:[/quote:90f73]
excuse me but this is the JOKE THREAD, you'll find the tedious wanker thread 2 doors down... rolleyes:[/quote:90f73]

yeah, you're the joke offtopic:[/quote:90f73]
Oh, touché!, what dazzling repartee!...oh, I am mortally wounded now…loney:

glad you're impressed biggrin:

A teacher has been asked to take a class for sex education and is
determined to be as straight with the kids as possible....one boy
asks him "sir, what does a vagina look like?"
"That depends on if it's a before sex vagina, or an after sex vagina" the teacher replies.
"What's the before sex vagina look like" the boy asks.
"It's looks like a beautiful rosebud, the flower of woman hood"
"Well then what does the after sex vagina look like?"
"...well Timmy, have ya ever seen a bulldog eating porridge..?"

calmdown:

ok do you 2 hate each other or somethig ? cause i luv you both.

[quote="Short Hand":256e7]ok do you 2 hate each other or somethig ? cause i luv you both.[/quote:256e7]
...don't go there girlfriend!!... ed:

danm your games. you nver answer.

[quote="Short Hand":5b2a5]danm your games. you nver answer.[/quote:5b2a5]
...hey, I am not the EA Support Line here.

[quote="Eight Ace":3216d][quote="Short Hand":3216d]danm your games. you nver answer.[/quote:3216d]
...hey, I am not the EA Support Line here.[/quote:3216d]

LOL fuck the jokes that line was classic

anyways:

How do you say, "What time is it?" in ebonics?
Gimmie yo mutha fucken watch!

edit: on second thought nvm

[quote="Eight Ace":9fd01]A teacher has been asked to take a class for sex education and is
determined to be as straight with the kids as possible....one boy
asks him "sir, what does a vagina look like?"
"That depends on if it's a before sex vagina, or an after sex vagina" the teacher replies.
"What's the before sex vagina look like" the boy asks.
"It's looks like a beautiful rosebud, the flower of woman hood"
"Well then what does the after sex vagina look like?"
"...well Timmy, have ya ever seen a bulldog eating porridge..?"

calmdown:[/quote:9fd01]
lmao rock:

i must agree to that

[quote=BucKweEd]
I found it funny aswell to be honest, Gerard is just emo[/quote:39688] it was funny

mildly...

anyhow... heres one for the Canuks...

3 guys, one from Calgary, one from Newfoundland and one from Quebec, find a lamp and rub it, out pops a genie who says: "normally I give 3 wishes, but since there is 3 of you, i'll grant one each..." the Newf goes first and says: "oh jasus bye, fill da ocean back up wit cod", the genie snaps his fingers and instantly the ocean is teeming with giant cod...
the Quebecer goes second and says: "i wood like you to put up a 100 foot wall all da way around la belle provance to keep out all da anglos"... the genie snaps his fingers and poof, a 100 foot wall appears around the border of Quebec...
next is the guy from Calgary, he looks at the genie and asks: "how high did you say that wall was?"
"100 feet high" replies the genie
"ok" says the Calgarian, "fill it with water"...

Twelve Inch Pianist

This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it.

“Hey, what's that?”

“A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist.”

“Can I try?” The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room.

“Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!”

“Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?

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rock: rock: rock:

there were two pancakes..one said "its hott in here!!!" and the second pancake replied "WOAH a talkin pancake!".... oOo: