how to stop masterbating
 

just follow these easy steps to stop that evil habit which will surly send you to hell! [url:2fbc2]http://www.selfabuse.org/[/url:2fbc2] some of the most important steps that i will be sure to remember are

[quote:2fbc2]If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. Better to be fat than to go to Hell!

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT EVER use mayonnaise on your sandwich. It will trigger thoughts of other things which you must avoid thinking about. If you are a female, stay away from the hot dogs, carrots, cucumbers and Italian sausage! And girls, NEVER put a candle on the table and light it, pretending you have class. Candles are used for only one purpose and you know what that is!
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[quote:2fbc2]Never argue with yourself that it must be OK to masturbate because God has given you the right equipment to do it. IT IS NOT OK! It is wrong. It is unnatural, evil, Satanic and sinful. Anything that feels that good cannot actually be good! I believe that the better if feels the more sinful it is.

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[quote:2fbc2]If you really think it is OK and a natural thing to do, then try this experiment:

If masturbation is so natural and correct, whip it out the next time you are with your girl friend in the school cafeteria and begin masturbating in front of her.

While you are masturbating, just explain to her in your short choppy breaths that it is a natural process and that she should accept it as such. You might want to ask her to blow in your ear at some point, just to hurry the process along.

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[quote:2fbc2]Small wireless cameras and receivers are sold at very reasonable prices now. Caleb and I strongly suggest that you buy two cameras. One for your bed room and one for the bathroom.
In addition, purchase as many receiving boxes as you can afford. Distribute the receiving boxes to nearby neighbors as you explain your masturbation problem to them. They will understand. Ask them to hook up the box to their TV set and check on you once in awhile why they are watching TV - ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU'VE GONE TO BED.

Whey you are lying in bed and your thoughts turn to pleasuring yourself, remember than any number of neighbors could be watching you right at that moment. Go back to sleep!

[/quote:2fbc2]

Uh... I don't think God approves of people watching other people masturbate. Anyway, these kind of people piss me off. Every male has masturbated. I have seen these kinds of reports before, and I think the guys that wrote it need to fuck off.

God, I guess you need to send me to hell when I die, because I'm not going to stop masturbating and I'm not going to turn a girl down if she wants to go down on me or have sex with me. If God hated penis so bad, then he wouldn't have made one for us.

eh eh ehe hheehh eehe ehee heeehe e ehe eheh ehe eheh eheh ehe eh ehe eheh ehe heheeh eheh heeh eeheh ehe heeheh ehe heh OMG

i thought those pictures on the front page were like scare tactics.
THATS ACTUALLY THE PEOPLE WHO RUN THAT SITE

as if that bloke doesnt jerk off if the alternative is fucking his wife who looks like she was a stunt double in The Excorcist.

why would I wanna stop?

When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell

did you catch a glimpse of the people on that page ? They are enough to make anyone stop!

all i have to do is put a picture of that lady up as my wallpaper and my computer will be rid of porn from that day forward!

LOL! Well, in their honour I am going to "make the bald man puke" or do the "five-knuckle shuffle" or "wait for the posse to come". Fuck it, I don't care if the neighbours are watching, they're dykes anyways. Let them have a "mongolian clusterfuck" with me, I want to watch them "cookin cucumbers" or "letting the beavers swim" or "slamming the clam" and maybe even watch them "mumbling in the moss". Ok, I'm done.

LOL, it says avoid everybody with pimples, earwax, blindness, etc., for they masturbate all the time. biggrin:

lol i thought the same thing

I guess 99.78345% of all males in this world have gone/are going to hell.

Although most girls/women say they don't masturbate, I bet about 65% probably do every once in a while.

oOo:

Yeah, those who guys who don't "wax the dolphin" have no arms/hands. Do you really believe it takes half and hour for a women to shower? She's probably spanking the squirrel guts.

Fuck that, if you don't masterbate, you'll turn into a crazy pedophile freak when you are older! Just look at all those catholic priests....Fuckin' never got to tug the chimney.

the longest i've gone without is a month, it's not hard

we all know its easier said then done

I NEVER WASTE AN OPPURTUNITY TO WACK OFF.

[quote="Old Reliable":cf4d1]the longest i've gone without is a month, it's not hard[/quote:cf4d1]

its not hard?? dont worry, about 77% of the male population become impotent at some point. biggrin:


I thought the only purpose of candles was to create light. or in some cases give off a scent too if theyre scented candles. so strictly speaking according to those people there would be three reasons for candles oOo:

[quote:51a72]the longest i've gone without is a month, it's not hard [/quote:51a72]

Yeah, but why would you want to....It's not hurting anyone when you pull your peepee.

(Don't even start with those terrible kitten pictures.)

Ever jerk off in the back of a crowded school bus? I was a very misunderstood kid.

either that, or a very sexually abused kid

Uhhh......wow eek:

who here masterbates every day?

Well the missus is heavily pregnant justnow so sex is usually off for a bit what with her being in pain and all, so i tend to wack off every other night, not like clockwork or anything, just on the occassion, unless the missus is around to do things other than sex.

[quote="Captain Bunny":36dc3]either that, or a very sexually abused kid[/quote:36dc3]
No, not the case, my dad was always away (thank you canadian armed forces), and my mom had a heroin addiction. So, my grandparents took care of me most of the time and they are the friendliest people you will ever meet. The problem was that I learned self-pleasure at an early age (9) and I was addicted, sometimes I'd yank the rope 10-15 times a day. So, basically.... yeah I was misunderstood. Hey, I never jerked off in like a month now, I just go to the stripbar and get a lapdance or go to the pub and score some (rarely happens), nothing like a good pole varnishing.

LOL! LMFAO! I'm sorry to laugh at your expense, Innoxx, but I find that story funny....(The Masterbating part)

iv gone one month & 1/2 before, i was depressed & shit. just dint feel like it.

[quote=Innoxx]Not really, my dad was always away (thank you canadian armed forces), and my mom had a heroin addiction. So, my grandparents took care of me most of the time and they are the friendliest people you will ever meet. The problem was that I learned self-pleasure at an early age (9) and I was addicted, sometimes I'd yank the rope 10-15 times a day. So, basically.... yeah I was misunderstood. Hey, I never jerked off in like a month now, I just go to the stripbar and get a lapdance or go to the pub and score some (rarely happens), nothing like a good pole varnishing.[/quote:2b7b0]

those girls in your sig wont exactly help freak:

like that movie with that guy about not getting any for 40 days and 40 nights or whatever

it's not that hard, just go out and eat or soemthing, watch a movie, or sleep

or actually fuck a chick instead of using your hand.

exactly

Have you had sex with the asain prince Germ?

nope.

...but do you think you'd like to?... cool:

"Men - if you constantly wake up with an erection, you may have to take evasive action. The erection may be caused by the need to urinate. You can overcome this problem by inserting a small plastic tube into your penis and up into your bladder before going to bed at night.
The air line from your fish tank will do fine.
Run the open end of the tube into a plastic bag and secure the bag firmly with a rubber band. Your urine will run straight through from your bladder to the plastic bag. No need to urinate! No erection!
Of course you may end up with a nasty infection in your urethra and bladder from a dirty plastic tube but don't worry. An infected urethra and bladder is very painful and the pain will also help discourage an erection.

A WORD OF CAUTION! Be very discreet when inserting the tube into yourself. If your little brother or sister walks into your room when your shoving the tube up your penis, into your bladder, it will be very difficult to explain to them exactly what you're doing.
Be sure to put the tube back into the fish tank each morning so the fish won't die from lack of oxygen. Good thing those fish don't know where that tube was the night before."


oOo:

So that's how it's done...

shove a tube up there? i don't even think the gays are for that

...yes, that's assuming you haven't gone to bed after a "night on the piss"...
I mean...what if you get it wrong... and wake up in a urine pool of dead fish...?.. oOo:

That website is one big diatribe. :P Why are you guys looking for ways to stop masturbating? What's the point? Why would you want to stop? If you want to stop, then you should get caught by your grandma or your mom, and that will freak you out enough to stop. Not that this has ever happened to me before. happy:

once i went 3 weeks but then free time just got kinda boring so i went back into action