[mr.miyagi]

Prepare yourself boys........

IRISH CONFESSION (GerV Tribute)

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And, who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell
me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I'll never tell"

"Was it Liz Shannon?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't name her."

"Was it Cathy Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy
Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You
cannot attend church mass for three months. Be off with you now."

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"

"Three month's vacation and five good leads!"

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a man lies next to a woman after amazing sex. she starts to stroak his cock. "do you want more sex?" he asks exhausted.

she replies "No. i'm just admiring it.

i really miss mine"

..... eek:
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A mother, father and young son are visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother, "What's that?"

"That's the elephant's tail," she replies.

"No, under the tail," says the youngster.

The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, nothing."

The boy turns to his father and repeats the same question.

His father looks and says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."

"So, why did mum say it was nothing?" asks the boy.

The father draws himself up to his full height and says, "Son, I've spoiled that woman."
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Q - Did you hear about the short sighted circumciser?
A - He got the sack.

Q - What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A - ''What are you shaking for? she's gonna eat me''

Q - What's long thin and smells of piss?
A - Pensioners doing the conga.

Q - What did Donald duck say to the prostitute?
A - Put it on my bill.

Q - What is the definition of trust?
A - Two cannibals going down on each other.

Q - Why does a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?
A - Because she can wash her crack and resell it.

+1plzkthx, heh