Offtopic Any topics not related to the games we cover. Doesn't mean this is a Spam-fest. Profanity is allowed, enter at your own risk. |
 Computers and Cars |
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2nd Lieutenant
Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Good ol' England!
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Computers and Cars -
08-29-2004, 03:22 PM
A friend sent me this.
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
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Senior Member
Posts: 1,785
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Cumming, IA
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08-29-2004, 03:23 PM
happy:
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Senior Member
Posts: 6,541
Join Date: Feb 2003
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08-29-2004, 03:26 PM
Thats like 5 years old
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Major General
Posts: 12,683
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Calgary
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08-29-2004, 03:36 PM
old but still funny but still old
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Major General
Posts: 13,482
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: University Park, PA
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08-29-2004, 03:48 PM
first time I've seen it. It got a chuckle out of me happy:
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Senior Member
Posts: 733
Join Date: Feb 2004
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08-29-2004, 03:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coleman
first time I've seen it. It got a chuckle out of me happy:
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Brigadier General
Posts: 10,721
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: C-eH-N-eH-D-eH eH?
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08-29-2004, 05:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ninty9
old but still funny but still old
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General of the Army
Posts: 18,202
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Ireland
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08-29-2004, 05:13 PM
sleeping:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyck
But one of her fucking grandkids, pookie, rayray or lil-nub was probably slanging weed or rocks out of the house.
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Colonel
Posts: 8,386
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: wut
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08-29-2004, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerard
sleeping:
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Major General
Posts: 12,924
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Continent of Africa
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08-29-2004, 05:22 PM
[img]http://jmc7.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Images/sq.gif[/img]
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General of the Army
Posts: 18,202
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Ireland
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08-29-2004, 05:41 PM
[quote="Mr.Buttocks":57303][img]http://jmc7.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Images/sq.gif[/img][/quote:57303]
LOL beer:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyck
But one of her fucking grandkids, pookie, rayray or lil-nub was probably slanging weed or rocks out of the house.
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