[mr.miyagi]

-Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
-There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
-There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
-Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
-The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
-Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
-Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
-Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
-Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
-Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
-There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
-Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
-Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
-Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
-Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
-Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
-Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.