[guarnere]

Rules for Black Metal


[img]http://www.entertainment.inuk.com/music/cradlefith_corpse.jpg[/img]


"John Pearson" <mrturquoise.john@btinternet.com> - 06 Nov 03:

1. During interviews, you express your "misanthropy" at the world.
2. You dismiss Anton LaVey ( Church of Satan founder ) as a " Hollywood Satanist ".
3. Your early demos must have no production values whatsoever, you later claim this was done to acheive a "necrotic" sound.
4. You hate the previous two Burzum albums because they are totally electronic.
5. You dismiss Cradle of Filth as "McDonalds Black Metal" because they're signed to sony.
6. You have recorded at least one of your albums in the Edvard Greig Memorial Hall.
7. You use the words "nocturnal" and "winter" at least once in every song.
8. At least one of your promo shots depicts your vocalist holding a Norwegian flag.
9. Your songs aren't satanic, they are based on pagan/viking mythology.
10. You have conspired to burn a church at least once.

david sigmon <kuntry_devyl@yahoo.com> - 03 Oct 03:

1)Find four to five members of the d&d club.(make sure to find one who can play keybaords)
2)Change your name to gorgoth darksoul, or something equally scary and dark.
3)Wear lots of hoaky-looking corpse paint...yaknow, to have a scary image.
4)As a black metal band, black leather is your best friend. You will learn to love it.
5)Design your logo with an unreadable style of writing. It's just cooler that way.
6)Use lots of choir style samples, in all your songs, for theat epic black feel.
7)When in interveiws, express your love for classical music, and scores(even if you don't, cause all black metal bands think they are really intelligent.)
8)Use dark words to describe everyhting(i.e. necro)
9)make sure you are either covered in blood, or in the woods for all photo sessions.
10)Make shirts that have no real connection with the band, only to be offensive.
11)Use lots of fowl language when on stage.
12)write music about how god sucks so much, and satan rules.

These are great rules in my opinion. enjoy --- sloth


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This is for Akuma.