[Chronic Diarrhea]

Don't get her anything. Be a man and tell her to fuck off with her meaningless events. It'll be over by 9 months anyway.

Seriously, I wouldn't get her a ring, because if you do, you're gonna have to get a ring that costs more than the Wal-Mart Special, because women have a microchip lodged in their brains that computes the worth of rings. If it is a cheap ring, which means anything less than $200, their sensors will go off and you will get a swift and efficient kick in the balls. Get her a nice necklace, something that you think suits her well. You can get her something around $150 that will really knock her off your feet.