Alphabet of Manliness - Page 2

06-17-2006, 10:07 PM

i couldnt find it at borders

Nyck · 06-17-2006, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acideyez

i couldnt find it at borders

good chance its sold out....there was only 1 copy left when I went

duncey · 06-18-2006, 10:19 AM

I looked at the borders near me, and they didnt have a copy... So I put my cell # and stuff in and they'll call me when they get shipments, w00t.

Blase · 06-18-2006, 01:02 PM

The Barnes and Noble I work at has literally hundreds of this book and they gave it it's own little table just for itself.

Chronic Diarrhea · 06-19-2006, 08:17 PM

Hey Nyck can you post a few more examples from the book? I'm going to buy it but I just want to sample some of the hilarity.

Nyck · 06-19-2006, 08:36 PM

H is for Hot Sauce.

referring to her neighbor who is a bitch and had a pussy son. She got pregnant and he decided he wasnting going to let her waste another baby

"After she gave birth to the baby I offered to hold it. She was delighted that I had apparently warmed up to kids so she handed him to me. When she wasnt looking I popped open his bottle and put chorizo in it. The baby was loving it at first, but suddenly he started crying. so I did what I always do when babies cry: I put him in the garbage can. His mom started yelling and screaming trhen she tried to punch me, I stepped to the side and she accidently tripped and fell down 4 flights of stairs, and then she accidently got peed on.

N is for Chuck Norris.

"Chuck Norris east rocks and shits lightning bolts. One time chuck norris was walking around in the forrest looking for hippies to use as firewood, when a wild board suddenly crossed his bath. Big Mistake. Chuck lifted the boar into the air with his mind, spun him around and digested him telekinetically and chuck wasnt even hungry.

"I once had a friend who claimed that he went over to chuck's house and hung out with him. I didnt believe him and told him to prove it. He told me that chuck norris owns the complete back to the future trilogy on laser disc. I was so jealous that i called him a liar, but deep inside i knew he was telling the truth.

E is for enlightenment

"Unlike Zues, Odin was a god who could get things done. Odin didnt fuck around with lightining bolts, he took care of assailants by smothering them with his giant nuts. Odin was the norse god of war, wisdom , magic , victory, hunting and poetry. Yes poetry although poetry is pretty much the unmanliest form of writing, odin was man enough to make even this most effeminate of written forms rock tits.
Here is a haiku written by Odin:

I murdered a man.
he had a wife and two kids.
I slept peacfully.

Here's a poem Odin wrote one day when he ordered a sandwich and they were out of wheat(Odin eats a diet high in fiber because cholesterol kills):

Bitch, say what?

That's all he wrote before he stomped his foot up her ass and wore her colon around his ankle.
If there was one word to describe Odin, it would be cocksure.
Odin has no charcater flaws unless you consider an execessively violent response to minor annoyances a character flaw , and I don't. Case in Point:

One time a guy went to one of odins temples to sacrifice himself in an effort to spare his village from the famine that was scientifically proven to be cause by odin.
The guy tried to impale himself on a large stake but lost his balance and fell awkwardly on the pole causing him to bleed all over the place. When Odin came down to collect the man's soul he saw the mess and became furious because Odin hates a sloppy sacrafice.

Odin was so pissed that he ressurected the man, ate him, and then poked his own eye out and ate it so he could watch the body as he digestedit and shit it out.

Chronic Diarrhea · 06-25-2006, 01:18 PM

I bought it yesterday. So far I really like it. And you're right -- the illustrations are hilarious.

Nyck · 06-27-2006, 08:13 PM

Got my copy signed today

[img]http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f33/Nyck1118/maddox1.jpg[/img]

[img]http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f33/Nyck1118/maddox2.jpg[/img]

Milla · 06-27-2006, 08:18 PM

[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Maddoxbook.PNG/397px-Maddoxbook.PNG[/img]

ROFL i just got it on amazon for 9 dollars

Nyck · 06-27-2006, 08:21 PM

he wrote

"I am the Best - Maddox" in mine

my buddy who has a beard and mustache he wrote "Beards kick ass"

other buddy he wrote "My shirts are better than yours"

a dude 6 people or so in front of us had him sign his ass cheeks and crack.

Im like wtf oOo:

Coleman · 06-27-2006, 08:25 PM

snipes · 06-27-2006, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nyck

he wrote

"I am the Best - Maddox" in mine

my buddy who has a beard and mustache he wrote "Beards kick ass"

other buddy he wrote "My shirts are better than yours"

a dude 6 people or so in front of us had him sign his ass cheeks and crack.

Im like wtf oOo:

lmao... sweet

Doctor Duffy · 06-27-2006, 10:00 PM

I read A-F standing at Barnes and Noble... don't plan to buy it, Maddox is funny, but not that funny.

He's coming to the Barnes and Noble a mile down from me, so I'll take pics when I see him.

Nyck · 06-28-2006, 08:01 AM

At the Q&A last night

Fan: "what type of beer do you drink"
Maddox: "I dont drink Beer, I drink rum...Beer tastes like what my balls smell like"

Simo Häyhä · 06-28-2006, 08:11 AM

rofl hes wearing a crown biggrin: