funny quotes you've heard - Page 2

Nyck · 07-31-2006, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zoner

The Scene: 1989, MacDonald's, a Saturday, around noon, busy
=======================
Girl working the cash: "Dale! Are those Macs ready yet?"

My friend Dale (loudly): "Shut up or I'll come out there and fuck you in the mouth!"
=======================

I lol'd

classic I still LOL..gotta find the peter north themed pic that was created from this.

Airborne Butters · 07-31-2006, 03:40 PM

I have a memorable Mc Dee's quote

"My friend : Hi, I'd like half dozen nuggets

Cashier : We don't have half dozen, only 6,12 and 15 piece."

Here's one from Blazzing Saddles

"Jim: Then one day I hear "Reach for it, mister." I spun around, and there I was standing face to face with a six year old kid. Well, I just laid down my guns and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since."

Homealone 2

"SUCK BRICK KID!"

Eight Ace · 07-31-2006, 04:12 PM

I did some part time work at a timber yard and this strait-laced guy there
had been promoted to oversee us, one day in response to an order from
him I said "whatever you say, cunteyes."
He went to the 2IC to dob me in (rat on me) and went on about how he
should be shown respect in his new role and I had called him cunteyes.

Our boss, who was this cool, kind of vague guy didn't think it was a big deal,
he kept writing then looked up thoughtfully and said "what if he calls you MR. cunteyes?"

Scorpion -]M15F1T[- · 07-31-2006, 05:42 PM

[quote="Eight Ace":2f1b8]I did some part time work at a timber yard and this strait-laced guy there
had been promoted to oversee us, one day in response to an order from
him I said "whatever you say, cunteyes."
He went to the 2IC to dob me in (rat on me) and went on about how he
should be shown respect in his new role and I had called him cunteyes.

Our boss, who was this cool, kind of vague guy didn't think it was a big deal,
he kept writing then looked up thoughtfully and said "what if he calls you MR. cunteyes?"[/quote:2f1b8]

LOL

One of the funniest (you had to be there) moments I had was when my manager who had read a load of "management" books, was givin me feedback ie givin me shit. I waited till he had finished the whole shoutin thing and replied with "It's a lot like our lord jesus" needless to say he avoids me still 3 years later.

Chronic Diarrhea · 07-31-2006, 05:54 PM

The Scene: 2000 high school lunchroom sitting around a group, and in particular this one guy who swore ALL THE TIME, we're talking every 3rd-4th word. His name is Stephen.

Stephen: (telling a story about Mexicans or something, using "Goddamn" and "fuck" a lot.)

Me: Are you a Christian?

Stephen: What?

Me: Are you a Christian?

Stephen: Yeah I'm a Christian. I accept Jesus Christ as my Goddamn Savior!

KTOG · 08-01-2006, 12:59 AM

At work we have slang for everything we make since its quicker and a lot of them sound pretty dirty.

Boss: "I need a kid's ball hair!!!"

...which is short for a Kid's portion Angel Hair with Meatballs

Stammer · 08-01-2006, 01:32 AM

[04:55] Nyck: i masturbate to jetson porn

Eight Ace · 08-01-2006, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stammer

[04:55] Nyck: i masturbate to jetson porn

[05:47] Nyck : now i'm roughing up the suspect to flintstones porn

Jin-Roh · 08-01-2006, 06:23 AM

"KILL THO NIGGA" - My friend in his sleep just a few minutes ago. oOo: happy:

Nyck · 08-01-2006, 06:24 AM

[quote="Jin-Roh":b6d52]"KILL THO n****" - My friend in his sleep just a few minutes ago. oOo: happy:[/quote:b6d52]

its 4:48 AM over there are you sitting up jackin off watching him sleep?

Jin-Roh · 08-01-2006, 06:35 AM

[quote=Nyck]

Quote:

Originally Posted by "Jin-Roh":6925a

"KILL THO n****" - My friend in his sleep just a few minutes ago. oOo: happy:

its 4:48 AM over there are you sitting up jackin off watching him sleep?[/quote:6925a]

OH yes OF COURSE!!! because you know im like gay and stuff? right? yeah i like jackoff to your sexiness and then i like cum into a empty sodacan, adn then i like to pretend im drinking Tripper's enhancing jelly... its like the new redbull ya kno??!

rolleyes:

EDIT: You're my favorite, Nyck. dance:

[DAS REICH] Blitz · 08-01-2006, 07:24 AM

[quote="Jin-Roh":50f7a]"KILL THO n****" - My friend in his sleep just a few minutes ago. oOo: happy:[/quote:50f7a]amos? tura?

Sicilian_Summers · 08-01-2006, 09:19 AM

I always laugh each time my football coach calls me "slower than whale shit."

He also likes to compare our offense to old people fucking - slow and bumpy. oOo:

Madmartagen · 08-01-2006, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nyck

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zoner

The Scene: 1989, MacDonald's, a Saturday, around noon, busy
=======================
Girl working the cash: "Dale! Are those Macs ready yet?"

My friend Dale (loudly): "Shut up or I'll come out there and fuck you in the mouth!"
=======================

I lol'd

classic I still LOL..gotta find the peter north themed pic that was created from this.

http://www.groundforce1.com/forums/view ... sc&start=0

scroll down

gtboys34 · 08-01-2006, 01:27 PM

[quote="Sicilian_Summers":66621]I always laugh each time my football coach calls me "slower than whale shit."

He also likes to compare our offense to old people fucking - slow and bumpy. oOo:[/quote:66621]haha! southern guy?