[Zoner]

Let me preface the following review with this: I am 30 years old. I am a fan of old school metal. I was listening to metal when most of you were suckling at your mother's tit. I know what I'm talking about.

Ok, now that's over with, I'll fill you in on the Slipknot/Hatebreed show I saw last night at the Corel Centre in Ottawa.

We got to the show around 6:00 for the 7:00 curtain. The lineup was almost halfway around the stadium, which I was pretty surprised to see. Man, you talk about a freakshow...heh heh. There were dudes there dressed like Slipknot band members, guys who looked like vampires, chicks who looked like Kelly Osbourne clones (the horror), and me in my "Republic of Newfoundland" t-shirt and khaki shorts. I felt old, but understandably well-adjusted.

We eventually got in the stadium and after a very pleasant frisk-down by a hot chick security guard, we made our way to our seats. Primo seats, by the way. 100 level, unobstructed view of the stage.

The first band came on and I was expecting God Forbid, a great metal act from the States. What strolled out on stage was definitely NOT God Forbid. For a second, I thought I was at a high school Battle of the Bands. These kids, maybe 18-19 years old come out, cursing like sailors (apparently their parents were outside in the minivan and not in the rink), and start into their mercifully short set. They played about 6 songs that sounded exactly alike; faux quasi-hardcore songs with as much heart and passion as a spool of thread. The mix was terrible, the vocals were unintelligible, and the only good thing that happened during the set was the lovely piss I took on my way to get a bag of popcorn.

I still don't know what the name of the band was. I guess it's for the best.

Ok, I assured my friend that Hatebreed would be better, although he was skeptical. I was gonna throw my bag of popcorn at the sound dude if he fucked up like that again.

Hatebreed took to the stage and my first reaction was "Here we go again...". The singer kinda looked like an e-thug at first glance and the first words out of his mouth were "Get the fuck up, motherfuckers!!". Ummm...ok.

They launched into their set with a POWERFUL number and I was surprised and impressed. They must've switched sound techs because the mix was pristine. Loud, but not as loud as Slipknot would eventually be (more on that in a moment). The band played for a solid hour, developing a strong rapport with the fans, and kicking some serious ass. I had every intention of disliking Hatebreed, but they won me over.

Intermission #2...a mediocre piss. Can't win 'em all.

Slipknot hit the stage around 9:00 and hit it HARD. The spectacle of seeing all 9 of these masked, jumpsuited, crazy fuckers is something to behold. They tore into (sic) as their opening salvo and never let up. Corey Taylor had the crowd in the palm of his hand all night. His command of an audience is venerable.

The mix was awesome. It was probably the loudest show I've seen, which I didn't think was possible after seeing Motorhead. As much as the mix was loud, it was clear. With all the percussion in the band, the stadium filled with bottom-end, with the guitars searing over it like a fucking demon.

They played every song I hoped to hear, which is all I could ask. "Heretic Anthem", "Pulse of the Maggots", "Wait and Bleed", "The Blister Exists", "Three Nil", "Spit It Out", "Duality"...just to name a few.

After 2 hours, they left the stage having thoroughly kicked everyone's ass in the room. I'd go again to see them tonight if I could.

I realize some of you are determined to hate on bands like Slipknot and Hatebreed. I really don't care. As a fan of heavy music, I can appreciate when bands put it all out there and work their asses off to entertain a crowd. If you get a cnahce to see either of these bands, I'd recommend you do.