[101stSpeirs]

me: tell me about france.
him: The best moment of my life was probably when I found out that Paris had falled to my armies and that France had surrendered (1940). There is actually film footage of me dancing a jig when I heard the news!

me: oh, so i take it that you were a fucking loser.
him: Foul language is the symbol of a weak intellect.

me: your mustache makes wanna pound the shit out of you!
him: Well, aren't you clever - you know some swear words!

me: how clever were you?
him: I'm not too bad considering I have been dead since 1945. Thanks for asking!

me:....right, why do you look like you have a tampon shoved up the wrong hole?
him:Those sorts of value judgements do not interest me in the slightest. Keep your spineless moralising to yourself. History is made by people like me who take tough and perhaps unpopular decisions, not by lily-livered cowards like you!

me: your the one that hid behind your army as they killed tons of people
him: Millions. But as Stalin said, one death is a tragedy, whilst one million is just a statistic.

me: so is my sperm count
him:I don't understand your question - please submit it to the webmaster to update my brain!

.... well, hitler obviously had too much time on his hands