[Chronic Diarrhea]

Age: 13

Location: A Chrisitan-based camp thing that was mandatory for our school to go to. Supposed to teach you how to make arrows like Indians and other gay shit (don't ask me what that has to do with Christianity)

Situation: We were all lying around in our cabin shooting the shit and talking about really un-Christian subjects and making fun of this one faggot in our cabin that kept acting like Coma. I really wanted to jack off since I hadn't done that in about 3 days (it's hard to go that long when you're 13). I waited until everybody was asleep, crept outside into the cold woods surrounding the cabin, and jacked off into a quaint but peaceful stream downhill. I should have just gone into one of the girls' cabins and started jacking it all over the girls, but I felt that was a little too assertive. Several years later I saw a story on the news of a strange man-deer hybrid found in the woods. Oh well, I'm not paying child support.



Age: 15

Location: Aunt's house

Situation: Nothing special here. Was lying in bed. Hadn't jacked off in 4-5 days. Kept thinking about my girlfriend and wished I had her there to fuck. I grabbed the phone. No cell phones at that time so I had to do it the old-fashioned way. She was glad I called her. The conversation as follows:

GF: Hello?

me: Hey baby.

GF: Hey! I was just thinking abou...

me: STFU my dick is hard bitch talk dirty to me so I can cum all over the phone just 4 u babe.

GF: Uh....ok...but first let me tell you about what happe....

me: I don't give a shit about your life. I need to shoot my jizzm right now. Tell me you want to suck my cock.

GF: *sigh* I want to suck your cock.

me: Oh yeah baby that's hawt. /jizz kthxbye have a good night.

GF: But I just want to tell you...

*click*



I also jacked off into the dorm hall showers my freshman year on a number of occasions. I was single my first semester, what can I say.