[Eight Ace]

heres an excerpt from a movie script I'm currently working on:

Sweet J: C'mon Nyck, time to start our new lives in our new house.
Nyck: You start the car honey, I just want to say goodbye to the old place.
Sweet J: Well hurry up, this storm is gonna break any minute.

Nyck walks into backyard, stands looking down at a slight mound six foot long in the corner of yard, lightning illuminating his grin as thunder roars overhead, heavy rain starts to fall

Nyck: Sleep tight motherfucker.
Sweet J:(startling Nyck) Who are you talking to?
Nyck: Wha!..didn't I tell u to get in the fucking car?
Sweet J: Hey babycakes, whats wrong?
Nyck: Nuthin hon, just makin sure the trash was taken care of, c'mon, lets go.

Later that night, Nycks old yard, the torrential downpour reveals a partially rotting hand clutching an optical wheel-mouse.

thoughts?